Friends & fam, theybies and gentlethems, please celebrate with me!
Today marks 6 years since I started gender-affirming hormone therapy.
For the first two years, I took a picture every week on my injection day. Since then, I have taken a picture on each anniversary. I also recorded my voice every month for the first year. (When I reach 1000 subscribers, I’ll share that video!)
The day I first injected testosterone into my belly remains one of the happiest of my life. Every week since then, when I inject another dose, I feel grateful and glad. The thought of not being able to get testosterone in the future is terrifying, miserable. It is a life-saving, necessary medication.
While I could’ve skipped the acne of the first couple years, I have no regrets about being on T. Yes, it’s changed my hairline, and if I could have chosen the amount of body hair I grew, I might not have chosen “pretty darn hairy.” But pubertal boys don’t get to choose those things, either.
Being trans is not a choice. But every trans person has to make a choice to live authentically. To live as who we know ourselves to be, despite the hate and violence we experience from society.
Despite the major consequences we can face when we transition. For my transition, I lost a 20-year marriage. I lost a community and many friends. I moved to a different continent. I didn’t have a place to live for several weeks, and I couch-surfed at colleagues’ houses. I lost a relationship with my sister. My son and I readjusted as I went from being Mom to being Dad.
Even with all of that, I consider myself on the luckier side. Others lose jobs and have no chance of legal employment. Others face violence. Some are kicked out of their homes without warning. Too many cannot access the care they need.
Every person’s circumstances are different, and some are not safe enough to transition or to live as loudly as I do. And that’s okay—there are as many ways to live as there are people.
As an educated, middle-class White man with US citizenship, I have a level of safety and acceptability that other trans and nonbinary people do not. Because of that, it’s important to me to use my voice and experiences to educate and connect with others.
I hope everyone reading this has the opportunity to live authentically, whatever that means for you.
Let’s raise a glass to freedom.
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