This is such a gorgeous essay and exploration of your feelings. When I was first coming out as trans a few years ago, I struggled greatly for lack of finding other people like me--dads who had given birth to their kids, late-in-life transitions--and it was nearly impossible to find anyone at all. There's still so much erasure around the first 43 years of my life now that I'm seen as a man, and I don't know how to reconcile that, but I have no regrets either for being who I am now or for being what I was then.
This is beautiful thank you. As a non-binary parent it’s fantastic to read such a story that resonates so hard. I’ve stuck with “mum” because I don’t feel it genders me in any way and although I had a strong disassociation with being pregnant and having a baby I have loved every second of being a mum.
My son is always the fiercest protector of my they / them pronouns. His generation gives me hope. When I shared my gender identity with him (he was about 11-12) he said “sure what’s for tea?”) #priorities
Kids are flexible! They don’t have all the baggage and connotations we have with words and concepts. One of my besties is a nonbinary parent and their kids also call them Mom.
Beautiful story of integration. When our kids were under 5, we spoke Italian in the home, so that they wouldn't lose the ancestral language. Eldest kid, as soon as able to speak, spontaneously used their own invented term - "mamma-papa" . We reckon because they witnessed parenting where there were no M/F roles; everyone did paid work outside the house, everyone cooked and cleaned. Tiniest kids are wiser than many adults about this stuff. So glad you're now happy and that past, present, are connected. Gendering is a journey, eh?
Ha! I love that. We used Mama and Baba, and he learned Mommy and Daddy from the kids on the playground. He started calling us both Daddy and I loved it.
I resonate with the experience of saying you’re non-binary before fully acknowledging you are a man. It’s been similar for me, feeling “genderfluid” then I too was telling myself “non binary trans femme” and finally just really realized I don’t fully embrace being NB or they/them pronouns the way saying I’m a woman (or trans woman) with she/her pronouns resonates with me. Even if I don’t fully look like a woman (yet), I am a woman.
Yes! For some of us, nonbinary (or any non-binary gender) is the destination and for some of us, it’s a step on our journey. Much like how some people are bisexual and some are figuring out they are gay but can’t quite say it. For me, being nonbinary allowed me to open up some space in my brain to then explore my gender more.
This is such a gorgeous essay and exploration of your feelings. When I was first coming out as trans a few years ago, I struggled greatly for lack of finding other people like me--dads who had given birth to their kids, late-in-life transitions--and it was nearly impossible to find anyone at all. There's still so much erasure around the first 43 years of my life now that I'm seen as a man, and I don't know how to reconcile that, but I have no regrets either for being who I am now or for being what I was then.
This is beautiful thank you. As a non-binary parent it’s fantastic to read such a story that resonates so hard. I’ve stuck with “mum” because I don’t feel it genders me in any way and although I had a strong disassociation with being pregnant and having a baby I have loved every second of being a mum.
My son is always the fiercest protector of my they / them pronouns. His generation gives me hope. When I shared my gender identity with him (he was about 11-12) he said “sure what’s for tea?”) #priorities
Kids are flexible! They don’t have all the baggage and connotations we have with words and concepts. One of my besties is a nonbinary parent and their kids also call them Mom.
Beautiful story of integration. When our kids were under 5, we spoke Italian in the home, so that they wouldn't lose the ancestral language. Eldest kid, as soon as able to speak, spontaneously used their own invented term - "mamma-papa" . We reckon because they witnessed parenting where there were no M/F roles; everyone did paid work outside the house, everyone cooked and cleaned. Tiniest kids are wiser than many adults about this stuff. So glad you're now happy and that past, present, are connected. Gendering is a journey, eh?
Ha! I love that. We used Mama and Baba, and he learned Mommy and Daddy from the kids on the playground. He started calling us both Daddy and I loved it.
Love darling 🥰
I resonate with the experience of saying you’re non-binary before fully acknowledging you are a man. It’s been similar for me, feeling “genderfluid” then I too was telling myself “non binary trans femme” and finally just really realized I don’t fully embrace being NB or they/them pronouns the way saying I’m a woman (or trans woman) with she/her pronouns resonates with me. Even if I don’t fully look like a woman (yet), I am a woman.
Yes! For some of us, nonbinary (or any non-binary gender) is the destination and for some of us, it’s a step on our journey. Much like how some people are bisexual and some are figuring out they are gay but can’t quite say it. For me, being nonbinary allowed me to open up some space in my brain to then explore my gender more.